Chapter 22
Humiliation
People Affected: everyone older than 24 months
Type of Emotion: conceptual punishment
Conceptual Trigger: “ my rank has decreased ”
Mental Effect: negative
Key Feature: the larger the decrease, the stronger the effect
Key Feature: effect generally stronger in men
Involuntary Expression: blushing, if humiliation stops pride
Synonyms: embarrassment, shame, dejection
Type of Emotion: conceptual punishment
Conceptual Trigger: “ my rank has decreased ”
Mental Effect: negative
Key Feature: the larger the decrease, the stronger the effect
Key Feature: effect generally stronger in men
Involuntary Expression: blushing, if humiliation stops pride
Synonyms: embarrassment, shame, dejection
Purpose
Humiliation encourages everyone to maintain their rank.
Your rank falls when you are expected to contribute less to group happiness. The employed fail to maintain their rank when they become unemployed.
Contributing less to group happiness harms group survival. The more unemployed there are, the less efficient a nation is.
Humiliation encourages everyone to maintain their rank.
Your rank falls when you are expected to contribute less to group happiness. The employed fail to maintain their rank when they become unemployed.
Contributing less to group happiness harms group survival. The more unemployed there are, the less efficient a nation is.
Rank is most likely to fall when rank plateaus and pride stops. Most people hit a rank plateau in their thirties. The continuous pride they felt throughout childhood stops. This is when people experience a mid-life crisis, meaning they think about letting their rank fall. Without the reward of pride, they are less willing to work long hours.
Humiliation maintains rank when pride stops. After hitting a plateau, people maintain their rank to avoid humiliation. They cannot imagine moving to a smaller house or wearing cheaper clothes. They decide that feeling humiliation is worse than working long hours without feeling pride. They give up on weekdays and live for weeknights, weekends and vacations.
Humiliation maintains rank when pride stops. After hitting a plateau, people maintain their rank to avoid humiliation. They cannot imagine moving to a smaller house or wearing cheaper clothes. They decide that feeling humiliation is worse than working long hours without feeling pride. They give up on weekdays and live for weeknights, weekends and vacations.
Without humiliation, people would roller-coaster on pride. Without a penalty to letting your rank fall, people would repeatedly let their rank drop to the bottom and then raise it back to its peak. Their nearly continuous increase in rank would trigger nearly continuous pride. CEO’s would become alcoholics and then rise up to be CEO’s again. Humiliation stops roller-coastering by penalizing the drops.
Rank also falls when innovation is not adopted. If you fail to adopt innovations like cell phones, your group contribution remains unchanged while others increase theirs.
Humiliation ensures the adoption of innovation. Most adults buying their first cell phone today are primarily doing so to avoid humiliation.
Conceptual Trigger
Humiliation is usually triggered when you:
Humiliation is triggered by lower rank, not low rank. The only criminals who feel humiliation are first-time offenders. Every CEO feels humiliation when they retire.
Rank also falls when innovation is not adopted. If you fail to adopt innovations like cell phones, your group contribution remains unchanged while others increase theirs.
Humiliation ensures the adoption of innovation. Most adults buying their first cell phone today are primarily doing so to avoid humiliation.
Conceptual Trigger
Humiliation is usually triggered when you:
- fail to graduate from school
- are fired, laid-off, demoted or retired
- are the favorite and you lose
- are the underdog and you lose by more than the spread
- are treated as an equal by a lower-ranking person
- are criticized or putdown
- are the victim of a prank
- apologize
- admit you are wrong or made a mistake
- do not hear others say please and thank-you when making a request
- ask for help, whether you are asking for directions or money
- learn that others have been allowed to break the rules with impunity
Humiliation is triggered by lower rank, not low rank. The only criminals who feel humiliation are first-time offenders. Every CEO feels humiliation when they retire.
If humiliation was triggered by low rank, it would only motivate the nearly-bottom ranked. Those above the nearly-bottom ranked would not be motivated. They would not feel humiliation if their rank fell to the next level. The nearly-bottom ranked would be motivated. They would feel humiliation if their rank fell. The bottom rank would not be motivated to maintain their rank. They would still feel humiliation if they did.
Because humiliation is triggered by lower rank, it motivates everyone above the bottom rank. Everyone above the bottom rank feels humiliation when their rank falls. CEO’s feel humiliation when they retire. Janitors feel humiliation when they lose their jobs.
By definition, humiliation is temporary. Humiliation is only triggered while you conclude that your rank is lower. Eventually, your lower rank is not lower anymore. A scratch on your car is embarrassing, but the embarrassment subsides after a few months.
Humiliation is triggered by slower growth. You will feel humiliation if you receive a 5% salary increase and others receive a 10% salary increase. This ensures that humiliation punishes those who are slow to adopt innovation.
Humiliation is not triggered by slower decline. You do not feel humiliation if you receive a 5% salary rollback and others receive a 10% salary rollback. This ensures that innovation during bad times is not punished. Instead, you are rewarded with pride.
Favorites always feel humiliation when they lose. Favorites are expected to win. Losing lowers their rank.
Favorites also feel humiliation if they win, but fail to beat the spread. Favorites are expected to win by the spread. Winning by less than the spread lowers their rank.
Underdogs only feel humiliation if they lose by more than the spread. Underdogs are expected to lose by the spread. Their rank only falls if they lose by more than the spread.
Because humiliation is triggered by lower rank, it motivates everyone above the bottom rank. Everyone above the bottom rank feels humiliation when their rank falls. CEO’s feel humiliation when they retire. Janitors feel humiliation when they lose their jobs.
By definition, humiliation is temporary. Humiliation is only triggered while you conclude that your rank is lower. Eventually, your lower rank is not lower anymore. A scratch on your car is embarrassing, but the embarrassment subsides after a few months.
Humiliation is triggered by slower growth. You will feel humiliation if you receive a 5% salary increase and others receive a 10% salary increase. This ensures that humiliation punishes those who are slow to adopt innovation.
Humiliation is not triggered by slower decline. You do not feel humiliation if you receive a 5% salary rollback and others receive a 10% salary rollback. This ensures that innovation during bad times is not punished. Instead, you are rewarded with pride.
Favorites always feel humiliation when they lose. Favorites are expected to win. Losing lowers their rank.
Favorites also feel humiliation if they win, but fail to beat the spread. Favorites are expected to win by the spread. Winning by less than the spread lowers their rank.
Underdogs only feel humiliation if they lose by more than the spread. Underdogs are expected to lose by the spread. Their rank only falls if they lose by more than the spread.
Being treated as an equal by a lower-ranking person triggers humiliation. If a lower-ranking person treats you like an equal, it feels like your rank has fallen to their level. Adults feel humiliation when a young child addresses them by their first name. The Queen feels humiliation when her subjects do not curtsey or bow for her.
Being criticized triggers humiliation. You feel humiliation when a superior tells you that you need to improve. You also feel humiliation when a friend tells you that you have bad breath.
Being putdown triggers humiliation. You feel humiliation the first few times someone says you are unattractive or unintelligent. Eventually, putdowns from that person do not decrease your rank further and therefore stop triggering humiliation.
Being the victim of a prank triggers humiliation. A prank cannot trigger humor in others unless it lowers someone’s rank.
Apologizing triggers humiliation. If you apologize for being late, you are stating that your rank has fallen to that of somebody who is inconsiderate. People are reluctant to apologize because it triggers humiliation.
Admitting you are wrong or made a mistake triggers humiliation. You are acknowledging that you rank has fallen. People are reluctant to admit they are wrong because it triggers humiliation.
Not hearing others say please and thank-you triggers humiliation.
Saying please and thank-you is a promise of reciprocity. Saying “please pass the salt” is equivalent to saying “if you pass the salt, I will return the favor”. Saying “thank you” is equivalent to saying “I confirm that I will return the favor”.
If someone says please and thank-you to you, they are implying that you are equal-or-higher rank than they are. They do not expect you to cooperate with their request unless they promise reciprocity.
If someone does not say please and thank-you, they are implying that you are their servant. They expect you to cooperate with their request without a promise of reciprocity. If you thought you were equally-ranked, implying that you are a servant lowers your rank and triggers your humiliation.
We say please and thank-you to servants to mask the fact that they are lower rank. Customers and bosses say please and thank-you when dealing with waitresses or employees. They are polite to avoid triggering the servant’s humiliation. Instead, they hope to trigger the servant’s pride by treating them as an equal.
Asking for help triggers humiliation, whether you are asking for directions or money. Asking for help is often perceived as a signal of inferiority. Men do not like asking for directions because it signals a poor sense of orientation. Adults do not like asking for money because it signals inability to generate and manage money.
Allowing a few to break the rules with impunity triggers humiliation. If a few people are allowed to break the rules, it creates two ranks where there was one. Instead of one rank of rule abiders, there are now rule abiders and exceptions. The rule abiders are in a lower rank than before, which triggers their humiliation. People waiting in queues feel this humiliation when others are allowed to jump the queue.
Humiliation is triggered more frequently in an insecure person. Insecure people are frequently looking for evidence that others think they are lower rank. They frequently ask friends if their appearance or manner is embarrassing.
Being criticized triggers humiliation. You feel humiliation when a superior tells you that you need to improve. You also feel humiliation when a friend tells you that you have bad breath.
Being putdown triggers humiliation. You feel humiliation the first few times someone says you are unattractive or unintelligent. Eventually, putdowns from that person do not decrease your rank further and therefore stop triggering humiliation.
Being the victim of a prank triggers humiliation. A prank cannot trigger humor in others unless it lowers someone’s rank.
Apologizing triggers humiliation. If you apologize for being late, you are stating that your rank has fallen to that of somebody who is inconsiderate. People are reluctant to apologize because it triggers humiliation.
Admitting you are wrong or made a mistake triggers humiliation. You are acknowledging that you rank has fallen. People are reluctant to admit they are wrong because it triggers humiliation.
Not hearing others say please and thank-you triggers humiliation.
Saying please and thank-you is a promise of reciprocity. Saying “please pass the salt” is equivalent to saying “if you pass the salt, I will return the favor”. Saying “thank you” is equivalent to saying “I confirm that I will return the favor”.
If someone says please and thank-you to you, they are implying that you are equal-or-higher rank than they are. They do not expect you to cooperate with their request unless they promise reciprocity.
If someone does not say please and thank-you, they are implying that you are their servant. They expect you to cooperate with their request without a promise of reciprocity. If you thought you were equally-ranked, implying that you are a servant lowers your rank and triggers your humiliation.
We say please and thank-you to servants to mask the fact that they are lower rank. Customers and bosses say please and thank-you when dealing with waitresses or employees. They are polite to avoid triggering the servant’s humiliation. Instead, they hope to trigger the servant’s pride by treating them as an equal.
Asking for help triggers humiliation, whether you are asking for directions or money. Asking for help is often perceived as a signal of inferiority. Men do not like asking for directions because it signals a poor sense of orientation. Adults do not like asking for money because it signals inability to generate and manage money.
Allowing a few to break the rules with impunity triggers humiliation. If a few people are allowed to break the rules, it creates two ranks where there was one. Instead of one rank of rule abiders, there are now rule abiders and exceptions. The rule abiders are in a lower rank than before, which triggers their humiliation. People waiting in queues feel this humiliation when others are allowed to jump the queue.
Humiliation is triggered more frequently in an insecure person. Insecure people are frequently looking for evidence that others think they are lower rank. They frequently ask friends if their appearance or manner is embarrassing.
Child stars have the worst life plan. Child stars feel very strong pride as their rank rockets to the top. However, they usually spend the remainder of their lives continuously declining in rank. Their continuous decline in rank triggers continuous humiliation, which they often try to avoid with drugs or alcohol.
Mental Effect
Mental Effect
Humiliation varies with the rank decrease. The larger the decrease, the stronger the negative effect. Being fired triggers stronger humiliation than being criticized.
Humiliation varies with the rank decrease to mitigate losses to group happiness. To reduce the strength of humiliation, people will minimize their loss of rank. Professionals who lose their jobs will take a blue-collar job to avoid accepting welfare.
Humiliation is generally stronger in men. For the same decrease in rank, men feel a stronger negative effect than women. Men are more likely to commit suicide after losing a job or losing face.
The more public an apology, the stronger the humiliation. The more people know that you are a rule breaker, the further your rank falls. Successful libel plaintiffs often seek retribution by requesting a public apology from the defendant. The plaintiffs often request prominent placement of the apology in large daily newspapers to ensure maximum exposure.
High-ranking people face the greatest threat from humiliation. High-ranking people have the furthest to fall.
“ The desire of acquiring the comforts of the world haunts the imagination of the poor, and the dread of losing them that of the rich." Alexis de Tocqueville
Pride and Humiliation
Humiliation varies with the rank decrease to mitigate losses to group happiness. To reduce the strength of humiliation, people will minimize their loss of rank. Professionals who lose their jobs will take a blue-collar job to avoid accepting welfare.
Humiliation is generally stronger in men. For the same decrease in rank, men feel a stronger negative effect than women. Men are more likely to commit suicide after losing a job or losing face.
The more public an apology, the stronger the humiliation. The more people know that you are a rule breaker, the further your rank falls. Successful libel plaintiffs often seek retribution by requesting a public apology from the defendant. The plaintiffs often request prominent placement of the apology in large daily newspapers to ensure maximum exposure.
High-ranking people face the greatest threat from humiliation. High-ranking people have the furthest to fall.
“ The desire of acquiring the comforts of the world haunts the imagination of the poor, and the dread of losing them that of the rich." Alexis de Tocqueville
Pride and Humiliation
A survey of Harvard students compared humiliation and pride. Students were asked to choose scenario A or B. In scenario A, the student receives $50,000 and others receive $25,000. In scenario B, the student receives $100,000 and others receive $200,000.
Most students chose scenario A, even though it pays them half as much as B. Students preferred A because it triggered their pride, while B triggered their humiliation. The survey, Is More Always Better?: A Survey on Positional Concerns (Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization) was conducted by Sara Solnick And David Hemenway.
Other Species
Rhesus monkeys feel humiliation. In the Monkey Pay Per View study referred to in the previous chapter, monkeys had to be paid more cherry juice to view pictures of lower-ranking monkeys. Viewing lower-ranking monkeys triggered their humiliation, just like being treated as an equal by a lower-ranking individual triggers humiliation in humans.
Most students chose scenario A, even though it pays them half as much as B. Students preferred A because it triggered their pride, while B triggered their humiliation. The survey, Is More Always Better?: A Survey on Positional Concerns (Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization) was conducted by Sara Solnick And David Hemenway.
Other Species
Rhesus monkeys feel humiliation. In the Monkey Pay Per View study referred to in the previous chapter, monkeys had to be paid more cherry juice to view pictures of lower-ranking monkeys. Viewing lower-ranking monkeys triggered their humiliation, just like being treated as an equal by a lower-ranking individual triggers humiliation in humans.
Happiness Dissected is a more practical version of The Origin of Emotions.