Chapter 43
Loneliness
People Affected: everyone
Type of Emotion: sensory coercion
Sensory Trigger: absence of affection
Mental Effect: negative
Sensory Stop: affection
Key Feature: effect grows stronger with time
Key Feature: effect generally stronger in women
Involuntary Expression: crying
Type of Emotion: sensory coercion
Sensory Trigger: absence of affection
Mental Effect: negative
Sensory Stop: affection
Key Feature: effect grows stronger with time
Key Feature: effect generally stronger in women
Involuntary Expression: crying
Purpose
Loneliness encourages everyone to interact with kin.
Loneliness provides additional motivation to interact with kin, but only when necessary. Affection always encourages you to interact with kin. Loneliness also encourages you to interact with kin, but only when you have not interacted recently. The alternative to temporary loneliness is permanently stronger affection, which would cause too much interaction. Interacting would always be better than sex.
Sensory Trigger
Loneliness is triggered by the absence of affection. You become lonely if you do not interact with people who trigger your affection. Similarly, you become hungry if you do not eat.
Death usually triggers imagined loneliness. If someone dies, you will imagine the absence of their affection in the future. Imagining the absence of their affection triggers your loneliness. The breakup of a marriage or the death of a pet usually causes the same reaction.
Loneliness is usually not triggered until 3 months after birth. Newborns are rarely left alone long enough to feel loneliness. Crying or weeping, an involuntary reflex triggered by loneliness, is usually not seen until 3 months after birth.
Mental Effect
Loneliness encourages everyone to interact with kin.
Loneliness provides additional motivation to interact with kin, but only when necessary. Affection always encourages you to interact with kin. Loneliness also encourages you to interact with kin, but only when you have not interacted recently. The alternative to temporary loneliness is permanently stronger affection, which would cause too much interaction. Interacting would always be better than sex.
Sensory Trigger
Loneliness is triggered by the absence of affection. You become lonely if you do not interact with people who trigger your affection. Similarly, you become hungry if you do not eat.
Death usually triggers imagined loneliness. If someone dies, you will imagine the absence of their affection in the future. Imagining the absence of their affection triggers your loneliness. The breakup of a marriage or the death of a pet usually causes the same reaction.
Loneliness is usually not triggered until 3 months after birth. Newborns are rarely left alone long enough to feel loneliness. Crying or weeping, an involuntary reflex triggered by loneliness, is usually not seen until 3 months after birth.
Mental Effect
Loneliness varies with time. The longer you have felt loneliness, the stronger the negative effect. After a few months of loneliness, people usually start talking to themselves in a futile effort to trigger their affection and stop their loneliness.
Loneliness grows stronger as necessary to ensure kin interaction. As loneliness grows stronger, you are more motivated to overcome obstacles to interacting with kin. Castaways would rather risk death on poorly-constructed rafts than continue to feel their tortuous loneliness.
Solitary confinement seeks to maximize the strength of loneliness.
Sensory Stop
Loneliness is stopped by affection.
Loneliness is not stopped by interacting with strangers. The widespread loneliness of urbanites proves this. You must interact with people who trigger your affection to stop loneliness. Strangers cannot trigger affection.
Loneliness is not stopped by crying. Only affection stops loneliness. If crying causes someone to interact with you, as it evolved to do, it will indirectly stop loneliness.
People primarily buy pets to stop loneliness, not to trigger affection. They leave their pets when friends call. Pets cannot trigger the affection that a good friend can.
Loneliness grows stronger as necessary to ensure kin interaction. As loneliness grows stronger, you are more motivated to overcome obstacles to interacting with kin. Castaways would rather risk death on poorly-constructed rafts than continue to feel their tortuous loneliness.
Solitary confinement seeks to maximize the strength of loneliness.
Sensory Stop
Loneliness is stopped by affection.
Loneliness is not stopped by interacting with strangers. The widespread loneliness of urbanites proves this. You must interact with people who trigger your affection to stop loneliness. Strangers cannot trigger affection.
Loneliness is not stopped by crying. Only affection stops loneliness. If crying causes someone to interact with you, as it evolved to do, it will indirectly stop loneliness.
People primarily buy pets to stop loneliness, not to trigger affection. They leave their pets when friends call. Pets cannot trigger the affection that a good friend can.
Happiness Dissected is a more practical version of The Origin of Emotions.