Chapter 13
Infatuation
People Affected: women
Type of Emotion: conceptual reward
Conceptual Trigger: " I trigger visual/audible pleasure in X, a man who displays group emotions as much as I do ”
Mental Effect: positive
Key Feature: has a duration of 8 months for each man
Key Feature: grows stronger for 4 months and then plateaus for 4 months
Key Feature: does not grow stronger without suddenly strong affection
Key Feature: does not grow stronger for previous men
Key Feature: does not grow stronger for kin or friends
Key Feature: during plateau, vaginal pleasure is temporarily elevated
Key Feature: the more group emotions displayed, the stronger the effect
Key Feature: group emotions must be equal-or-stronger to the woman’s
Key Feature: not triggered during gestation and maternal love
Type of Emotion: conceptual reward
Conceptual Trigger: " I trigger visual/audible pleasure in X, a man who displays group emotions as much as I do ”
Mental Effect: positive
Key Feature: has a duration of 8 months for each man
Key Feature: grows stronger for 4 months and then plateaus for 4 months
Key Feature: does not grow stronger without suddenly strong affection
Key Feature: does not grow stronger for previous men
Key Feature: does not grow stronger for kin or friends
Key Feature: during plateau, vaginal pleasure is temporarily elevated
Key Feature: the more group emotions displayed, the stronger the effect
Key Feature: group emotions must be equal-or-stronger to the woman’s
Key Feature: not triggered during gestation and maternal love
Infatuation also encourages women to prefer men who display group emotions.
Men who display group emotions are macho, law-abiding, brave, charitable, ambitious, funny and adventurous. Macho men feel revenge. Law-abiding men feel criminal guilt. Brave men feel compassion. Charitable men feel selfish guilt. Ambitious men feel pride, humiliation and envy. Funny men feel humor. Adventurous men feel excitement and boredom. A male mensch is a man who displays strong group emotions.
Women often judge a man’s group emotions by his rank. The higher a man’s rank, the more he must be driven by group emotions.
The component of infatuation that encourages women to prefer men who display group emotions is labelled the group preference component.
Men who display group emotions are macho, law-abiding, brave, charitable, ambitious, funny and adventurous. Macho men feel revenge. Law-abiding men feel criminal guilt. Brave men feel compassion. Charitable men feel selfish guilt. Ambitious men feel pride, humiliation and envy. Funny men feel humor. Adventurous men feel excitement and boredom. A male mensch is a man who displays strong group emotions.
Women often judge a man’s group emotions by his rank. The higher a man’s rank, the more he must be driven by group emotions.
The component of infatuation that encourages women to prefer men who display group emotions is labelled the group preference component.
Without the group preference component, people with above-average group emotions would have disproportionately low reproduction. Because they spend more time helping their groups, people with above-average group emotions spend less time on reproduction. While they have a 50% share of the population, they may only have a 40% share of reproduction time. Without the group preference component, a 40% share of reproduction time translates into a 40% share of offspring.
If the group preference component did not exist, group emotions would not exist.
If the group preference component did not exist, group emotions would not exist.
With the group preference component, people with above-average group emotions have proportionate reproduction. With the group preference component, courtship is much easier for men with above-average group emotions. Their 40% share of reproduction time translates into a 60% share of offspring. Their 60% share combines with women’s 40% share to give all people with above-average group emotions a 50% share of offspring. The additional children produced by male executives offsets the smaller-than-average families of female executives.
The group preference component preserves the group emotions.
Preferring men with above-average group emotions harms a woman’s genes.
These men require more courtship time. There is more competition for men with above-average group emotions. Consequently, women must spend more time courting them. If women courted average men, they would have more time for children.
Their children do not live longer. Men with above-average group emotions can usually provide their children with more assets, like cell phones and cars. However, these assets do not help their children live longer.
Their children do not reproduce more. While their sons reproduce more, their daughters reproduce less. Combined, they have proportionate reproduction.
Male infatuation did not evolve.
Male infatuation is not required. Maternal love, the counterpart to monogynic love, does not require activation.
Men do not spend money or time triggering infatuation. Men do not buy romance novels. Men rarely watch romantic movies unless they are with a woman.
Men do feel monogynic love, affection and sexual pleasure when courting a woman. These positive effects are mistakenly believed to be male infatuation.
Conceptual Trigger
Infatuation is triggered when men look at or listen to a woman, not when they have sex with her. Infatuation rewards women for activating monogynic love, which requires triggering a man’s visual/audible pleasure, not his penile pleasure. Vaginal pleasure, which rewards women for tolerating copulation, is elevated when infatuation plateaus. Prior to the plateau, women enjoy dating more than sex. It triggers more infatuation.
Infatuation requires that group emotions displayed be equal-or-stronger to the woman’s. For example, a woman does not feel infatuation unless a man’s rank is equal-or-higher than her rank. Teenage girls enjoy construction workers whistling at them, but supermodels do not. Construction workers are higher rank for teenagers, but lower rank for supermodels.
Requiring equal-or-stronger group emotions eliminates most competitors. Men with below-average group emotions cannot trigger the infatuation of a woman with average group emotions.
Unlike monogynic love, infatuation can be simultaneously triggered by multiple men. Men can only love one woman at a time, but women can be infatuated with more than one man at a time. This creates more competition between men.
Infatuation’s trigger contains nothing to encourage the avoidance of lotharios. Heartbreak encourages the avoidance of lotharios. Because heartbreak addresses the lothario problem, infatuation’s conceptual trigger has room to accommodate the group preference component.
Mental Effect
The group preference component preserves the group emotions.
Preferring men with above-average group emotions harms a woman’s genes.
These men require more courtship time. There is more competition for men with above-average group emotions. Consequently, women must spend more time courting them. If women courted average men, they would have more time for children.
Their children do not live longer. Men with above-average group emotions can usually provide their children with more assets, like cell phones and cars. However, these assets do not help their children live longer.
Their children do not reproduce more. While their sons reproduce more, their daughters reproduce less. Combined, they have proportionate reproduction.
Male infatuation did not evolve.
Male infatuation is not required. Maternal love, the counterpart to monogynic love, does not require activation.
Men do not spend money or time triggering infatuation. Men do not buy romance novels. Men rarely watch romantic movies unless they are with a woman.
Men do feel monogynic love, affection and sexual pleasure when courting a woman. These positive effects are mistakenly believed to be male infatuation.
Conceptual Trigger
Infatuation is triggered when men look at or listen to a woman, not when they have sex with her. Infatuation rewards women for activating monogynic love, which requires triggering a man’s visual/audible pleasure, not his penile pleasure. Vaginal pleasure, which rewards women for tolerating copulation, is elevated when infatuation plateaus. Prior to the plateau, women enjoy dating more than sex. It triggers more infatuation.
Infatuation requires that group emotions displayed be equal-or-stronger to the woman’s. For example, a woman does not feel infatuation unless a man’s rank is equal-or-higher than her rank. Teenage girls enjoy construction workers whistling at them, but supermodels do not. Construction workers are higher rank for teenagers, but lower rank for supermodels.
Requiring equal-or-stronger group emotions eliminates most competitors. Men with below-average group emotions cannot trigger the infatuation of a woman with average group emotions.
Unlike monogynic love, infatuation can be simultaneously triggered by multiple men. Men can only love one woman at a time, but women can be infatuated with more than one man at a time. This creates more competition between men.
Infatuation’s trigger contains nothing to encourage the avoidance of lotharios. Heartbreak encourages the avoidance of lotharios. Because heartbreak addresses the lothario problem, infatuation’s conceptual trigger has room to accommodate the group preference component.
Mental Effect
Infatuation has a duration of 8 months for each man.
During the first 4 months, infatuation grows stronger if one man keeps triggering it. This causes women to focus on one man, which they must do to trigger strong enough affection to activate monogynic love.
During the second 4 months, infatuation plateaus and vaginal pleasure is elevated. Elevated vaginal pleasure encourages women to mate. During these 4 months, women almost enjoy sex as much as men do.
After a total of 8 months, infatuation stops and vaginal pleasure subsides. The plateau lasts 4 months to cover at least 3 ovulatory cycles. If a man cannot impregnate a woman in 3 cycles, he probably never will. After 4 months, infatuation stops and vaginal pleasure subsides.
After 8 months, women only feel affection for a man. After 8 months, women lose interest in triggering a man’s visual/audible pleasure. They would rather talk, which triggers affection.
Infatuation does not grow stronger without suddenly strong affection within 4 months.
Requiring suddenly strong affection ensures the activation of monogynic love. If a woman feels affection which grows suddenly strong within 4 months, the man must also feel suddenly strong affection. If he feels suddenly strong affection within 4 months, he has probably fallen in love.
Requiring suddenly strong affection prevents infatuation with previous men. Because they are familiar, men that have previously grown a woman’s infatuation cannot trigger suddenly strong affection. This encourages women to change partners every reproductive cycle, which increases the genetic diversity of their offspring.
Requiring suddenly strong affection also prevents infatuation with kin or friends. Because they are familiar, kin and friends cannot trigger suddenly strong affection. As a result, women can only become infatuated with strangers.
Infatuation is disproportionately triggered by men that look maternal. The more a man looks like a woman’s mother, the stronger the affection he triggers in her. The stronger the affection a man triggers in a woman, the sooner he reaches her infatuation plateau. Simply put, women tend to become infatuated with men that have the same eye color, hair color, skin color and facial bone structure as their mothers. This encourages mating with compatible genes.
During the first 4 months, infatuation grows stronger if one man keeps triggering it. This causes women to focus on one man, which they must do to trigger strong enough affection to activate monogynic love.
During the second 4 months, infatuation plateaus and vaginal pleasure is elevated. Elevated vaginal pleasure encourages women to mate. During these 4 months, women almost enjoy sex as much as men do.
After a total of 8 months, infatuation stops and vaginal pleasure subsides. The plateau lasts 4 months to cover at least 3 ovulatory cycles. If a man cannot impregnate a woman in 3 cycles, he probably never will. After 4 months, infatuation stops and vaginal pleasure subsides.
After 8 months, women only feel affection for a man. After 8 months, women lose interest in triggering a man’s visual/audible pleasure. They would rather talk, which triggers affection.
Infatuation does not grow stronger without suddenly strong affection within 4 months.
Requiring suddenly strong affection ensures the activation of monogynic love. If a woman feels affection which grows suddenly strong within 4 months, the man must also feel suddenly strong affection. If he feels suddenly strong affection within 4 months, he has probably fallen in love.
Requiring suddenly strong affection prevents infatuation with previous men. Because they are familiar, men that have previously grown a woman’s infatuation cannot trigger suddenly strong affection. This encourages women to change partners every reproductive cycle, which increases the genetic diversity of their offspring.
Requiring suddenly strong affection also prevents infatuation with kin or friends. Because they are familiar, kin and friends cannot trigger suddenly strong affection. As a result, women can only become infatuated with strangers.
Infatuation is disproportionately triggered by men that look maternal. The more a man looks like a woman’s mother, the stronger the affection he triggers in her. The stronger the affection a man triggers in a woman, the sooner he reaches her infatuation plateau. Simply put, women tend to become infatuated with men that have the same eye color, hair color, skin color and facial bone structure as their mothers. This encourages mating with compatible genes.
Infatuation also varies with group emotions displayed. The stronger a man’s display of group emotions, the stronger the positive effect.
Rank is one measure of a man’s group emotions. The higher a man’s rank, the stronger the infatuation he triggers. Women prefer men who are rich, successful or intelligent because they trigger stronger infatuation.
High-ranking men have more sex because they can. High-ranking men do not have more sex because they have more desire. Men’s desire for sex does not vary with their rank, but women’s infatuation does. Women desire high-ranking men more.
Rank is one measure of a man’s group emotions. The higher a man’s rank, the stronger the infatuation he triggers. Women prefer men who are rich, successful or intelligent because they trigger stronger infatuation.
High-ranking men have more sex because they can. High-ranking men do not have more sex because they have more desire. Men’s desire for sex does not vary with their rank, but women’s infatuation does. Women desire high-ranking men more.
Men with above-average group emotions reach the infatuation plateau sooner. Because they trigger stronger starting infatuation, men with above-average group emotions start closer to the plateau. While an average man requires 4 months to reach the plateau, above-average men may only require 2 months.
Childless Relationships
Childless Relationships
Childless relationships leave a 38 month gap for women.
Before birth control, both genders felt strong positive conceptions for almost 4 years. Men felt 42 months of monogynic love. Women felt 8 months of infatuation, followed by a 5 month gap and then 33 months of maternal love.
With birth control, women do not feel maternal love from month 13 to 46. After infatuation ends, childless women only feel affection while men feel monogynic love. During this 38 month gap, women often become focused on marriage, mistakenly believing that it will provide what seems to be missing in their lives.
Relationship Duration
Couples usually split 5 years after courtship begins. Neither gender feels a strong positive conception after 4 years. It then takes another year to realize and confront the fact that neither person feels passion anymore. The peak year for divorce is 4 years after marriage, as Helen Fisher identified in her book The Anatomy of Love.
Before birth control, both genders felt strong positive conceptions for almost 4 years. Men felt 42 months of monogynic love. Women felt 8 months of infatuation, followed by a 5 month gap and then 33 months of maternal love.
With birth control, women do not feel maternal love from month 13 to 46. After infatuation ends, childless women only feel affection while men feel monogynic love. During this 38 month gap, women often become focused on marriage, mistakenly believing that it will provide what seems to be missing in their lives.
Relationship Duration
Couples usually split 5 years after courtship begins. Neither gender feels a strong positive conception after 4 years. It then takes another year to realize and confront the fact that neither person feels passion anymore. The peak year for divorce is 4 years after marriage, as Helen Fisher identified in her book The Anatomy of Love.
Happiness Dissected is a more practical version of The Origin of Emotions.